5 questions I’m asked as a surrogate
I promise I cannot say thank you enough to all the support and love we received, and still receiving, since our big pregnancy announcement. I’m sure some of you are probably brewing with questions. Trust, you’re not the only one. and I gotcha. Below I’ve shared 5 questions I was typically asked when I first started telling family and friends about my surrogacy journey. If you have another question I didn’t answer here, leave it in the comments. I’ll do my best to answer.
Are they using your egg?
Nope. My eggs are not being used. That would be rather disgusting if we did, wouldn’t it? (LOL)! No worries if you wondered this, this was actually a very popular question. The infertility clinic combined my brother’s sperm with my SIL’s egg which created an embryo. This little embryo was frozen until transfer day which was then placed in my uterus. I’m literally only providing a safe home for the baby to grow. The baby is fully made up by it’s parents other than the DNA my brother and I share. The technical term for my journey is Gestational Carrier (GC) or Gestational Surrogate.
Are you sure about this?/Are you ready for this?
I was actually asked this question several times from a few close family members and friends within my support group. It’s such a real, heartfelt question that allotted me space to further process my decision. Pregnancy is a commitment that is unpredictable. I hear so many women with multiple kids talk about how different their pregnancies were. It can take a toll on you mentally, physically and emotionally. And my support group knows the season I’m still transitioning out of. I appreciate my support group for calling this out to ensure I was prepared for whatever this pregnancy may bring. Even still my answer was, and clearly still is, an emphatic yes. To carry a sweet baby for this couple that greatly desires and loves both their baby and me is refreshing. I understand the potential challenges that could rise however the joy of taking part in bringing this miracle forward is worth it all. Plus, the parents are my siblings. So they look out for me in ways I couldn’t ask for. They really ensure me, my daughter and their baby are all well taken care of. Without them and my support group this really wouldn’t be possible for me.
Was the transfer painful?
Not at all. Uncomfortable, maybe for a few seconds, but not painful. The transfer was rather simple and rather quick.
Would you be interested in reading more about our transfer day experience? If so, leave a “share more” in the comments.
When will you find out if you’re pregnant?
I -we- got this question often especially after transfer day. We knew roughly when we would find out but didn’t share immediately. Receiving a positive (or negative) test is such a big moment for the parents, especially ones who have struggled through IVF. Although they included me in the decision, the when and how they planned to share with family was up to them. Truthfully once the transfer was complete I was considered pregnant, however, I had to undergo many follow-up tests to ensure the embryo stuck successfully. Our fertility clinic had two sayings which I used whenever asked this question: 1)I am “pregnant until proven otherwise” or 2) we are believing “I am pregnant and staying pregnant”.
Who do I congratulate?
Everyone! This truly is a team effort. Congratulate the new parents-to-be for the coming bundle of joy! Congratulate the surrogate for embarking on the journey! Congratulate the family for growing in such a unique way! And naturally, prayers and well wishes are also appreciated.
