Babies cry in order to get their needs met, true or true? Babies cry when they’re hungry, sleepy, gassy, sick, bored or want to be held. Decoding what your toddler specifically wants is a task all parents or care takers face. Around 6-7 months old my little one (LO) became noticeably frustrated when she wanted something in particular outside of nursing. The more I got the solution wrong, the more she became fussy. As a new mom this left me feeling defeated. Was I a bad mom? Was I not attentive enough? She was new to this big world. Helping her navigate it is part of my responsibility as her mother. After some months passed, I figured it would be beneficial to us both if I gave her an alternative way to communicate. I imagined a professor explaining new content to his students. They have two different levels of knowledge. The professor has studied the information and even earned a degree in it. He is fluent with the terms involved. On the other hand, the student most likely has little to no knowledge. There’s a learning curve for the student. To ensure the student becomes fluent the professor introduces the content, assigns work to retain the information and will likely test his students. Well, Mommy (or Daddy) you are the professor. Your child is the student. The content being introduced is communication. Teaching your LO how to exchange information with you and others is up to you. I decided to start early by teaching my LO sign language.
I started signing with her when she was 11 months. I gradually saw the dynamic in understanding her needs shift. Most articles I found suggested starting with children’s basic needs. We began with milk. I was still nursing at the time but whenever I was planning to give her a bottle I’d use the sign for milk. This continued even when we introduced cow’s milk at 12 months. Before I knew it, she was working her little hands asking for milk. By the way, it’s incredibly cute when they start signing! Anyway, once she grasped milk we moved on to eat. This was a little confusing for her at times. She would ask for milk when she really wanted food or vice versa. So we had to spend time breaking down the difference between the two. Do you mean milk or do you want to eat is a question I’d often ask. Pointing at the item she wanted, I’d affirm with the appropriate sign. This probably took a month and a half for her to accurately sign which one she wanted. Keep in mind when we first started signing there were very few words she was beginning to say. Of course this has grown over time. We still use sign language to this day to help her articulate her desires. The combination between her growing vocabulary and her sign language not only helps my husband and I but also anyone who takes care of her for us. At 18 months she's able to sign milk, food, all done, more, and (thanks to Cocomelon) excuse me. Our new sign we are working on is “potty”. She knows the sign however I am teaching her when to use the sign. The context here is different from her norm. She normally uses a sign to ask for something she want. Now I am challenging her to sign to ask to go do something.
If you decide to teach your LO sign language remember to be patient and disciplined. It may take a while before they’re actually able to sign back to you but repetition matters. Every opportunity you have to demonstrate the sign with the appropriate word, do it. When your LO is eating, let them hear you say “look at you eating [insert food item]”, as you use the appropriate gesture for eating. Here is the perfect time to incorporate the method “I do, we do, you do”. I love this method because it shows our LO’s what I do, you also can too. You don’t want to just show them the sign and hope they catch on. Take their precious little fingers, form the motion then demonstrate how its done. You are working together to build their confidence in a new skill. Before you know it, they will sign to you exactly what they want. Exciting, right?!
Your LO communicating effectively is such a big step. It’s a lesson that will expand over time becoming more complexed throughout their lives. Talk to your LO everyday, all day. Affirm their feelings. When they become frustrated challenge them to express themselves differently. I correct my LO’s tantrums by saying “Wait a minute, Mommy cannot understand when you are yelling like that” or “Baby, that’s not how we communicate. Calm down. What do you need?” I ask her what she needs so she can practice engaging with me. Just think, if it can be frustrating for adults to communicate with one another, can’t you image how our children feel at times? Empathize with their feelings. And use praise along the way. Children get excited to see you excited. Some may suggest praising your child with a special treat or toy however I only used verbal praise. I not only shared with her how I was proud of her but encouraged her to be proud of herself.
I encourage you to invest in guiding and teaching your LO in their early years. What to expect among other resources like The bump share how you can teach your LO sign language as early as 8 months. They have a library of basic needs you can learn from. Also, use the infamous Youtube to search how to say [insert need] in sign language. Most importantly enjoy the process!
