Carpe Diem

I know why I made the transition to be a SAHM, I just don’t want that to fully define me. - A thought that crossed my mind. Have you ever struggled through re-identifying yourself?

This particular venture has allowed me to experience freedom, freedom of time. Yet in my attempt to embrace this freedom, I felt guilty. I didn't know what I needed to do in order to maximize this opportunity. How was I to master Carpe Diem?! When I first transitioned to a SAHM I often wondered what in the world will I do all day outside of cooking, cleaning and nursing? I was use to my previous work load which included KPI’s, meetings, calls and projects to structure my day. Tracking these goals determined how productive my day/week was. These indicators didn’t translate so well in my new role as a SAHM aka Domestic Engineer. 

I started implementing a schedule for our LO around 3 months. I figured once I had her on a solid routine I could better organize my day, specifically with the things I wanted to accomplish. Of course as she grew, so did her needs which required me to re-adjusted my schedule. Although I felt like I was consistently changing routines for us I always found ways to build in time to dedicated to myself. As a parent, let alone a Domestic Engineer, I value dedicated “me time”. This time is not just beneficial to me but also my family. When I nurture my own thoughts, feelings and health I experience internal peace. This allows me to better support the needs of my family. When I am at my best my family reaps the full benefits. 

What does your best self look like? 

For me, I am at my best self when I am well rested, grounded in faith, well fed, mentally at peace, physically strong and connected with purpose. With this in mind, I fill my week with activities that allow me to meet those needs. If you’re a first time mom or Domestic Engineer, you’re probably experiencing an adjustment period where you are re-identifying yourself. This period is an important process which requires dedication, time, effort and patience. Be gentle with yourself. Spend some time reflecting on who you are as wife, mom but most importantly as a person. Think about the times when you have felt your best. How did you get there? How can you repeat that process on a daily basis? Be honest with yourself. Express your needs with your spouse. You are on the same team.  Then create a plan to maximize your day.

How do I keep up with everything? 

Hunny, I do my best to plan and schedule what I can accomplish in a given day. As I plan out my week I begin with house needs such as laundry days, cleaning various sections of the house and meal plans for the week. Then I plan actions to reach my personal goals such as exercising and writing. Mother's you know what your home needs are so plan accordingly throughout the week. Do yourself a favor, don’t cram so much in one day. You’ll tire yourself out very quickly. Burnout is real no matter what your role is. And remember, children are unpredictable. No matter how perfect your schedule is, give yourself grace. Your plans may fall through but that doesn't mean your time was wasted. 

If you’re new to this and would like to maximize your day better try this for a month. At the top of each week schedule 1-2 activities a day in the following categories: home responsibilities, baby bonding, personal activity and time with your spouse. See how far that takes you. Reflect and note how you feel and what you accomplished. Make adjustments as needed.

Through it all, be your own cheerleader! You are a great wife! You are a fantastic mother! You are strong, wise and valuable! You’ve got this!

Here’s a sample of how to structure your days into these 4 main categories :

• Home responsibilities

• Baby bonding

• Personal care

• Intimate time with spouse

If you have to rearrange plans or table them all together for a particular week, that’s okay. Be flexible. Just find time to come back to the things of importance at a later time.