Worship through
Inhale. Exhale - I’m thankful for the very breath I am able to fill my lungs with.
I know it’s been awhile since I’ve placed words here. You know, life. Unforeseen, heartbreaking, life events have taken place. However, I’m still here. In my right mind. In a healthy space. And overall, well.
But let’s pause. Friend, if you are reading this and you are experiencing trauma, grief or heartbreak of any kind. I see you. I feel you. Words may be to minimal to express the agony you currently may feel. And no words can truly remove it. I pray though, in this moment as you read through this you feel His love. May He comfort you, just where you are. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Go ahead. Do it… This time take a controlled deep breath. Now, intentional release with ease. Great job, you made it through that moment. My hope is that you too will enter a consistent place of peace and rest.
In a season of my life where I was drowning in heartache, shock and brokenness, I had a sweet woman approach me. She told me she saw a light over me. Light as in joy. Brightness. Life. She asked me what my secret was. Though I was flattered, I was shocked. I couldn’t take any credit for the light she saw over me. I was just trying to survive each moment. My response to her was simple. I didn’t have a secret, it was Jesus.
When you realize how worship is apart of our DNA nothing - absolutely nothing - can take your worship away. But what about those hard, tiring days? You know those that could really take you out - mentally, physically, and spiritually. Hunny, those are the days where you need to worship the most.
Worshipping through heartbreak kept me alive. Pushing beyond myself, beyond my pain, to bask in His presence was something like a lifeline straight from heaven to my heart. When the scripture in Nehemiah 8 says “The joy of the Lord is my strength”, I was living it. He strengthened me. Even when I didn’t feel strong, others saw His strength shining through me. I don’t know how He did it, however, I know wouldn’t be where I am today without Him. I am reminded that when we fully give ourselves in worship we naturally reap what we’ve sown. And in some cases, it’s almost instantly. He trades our mourning for joy, weeping for dancing. That is what I believe this woman saw.
I’ve found that even through agony holding onto the truth that God is still my God, I couldn’t stay down long. I was determined to push pass what I was feeling to honor my God who sits on high. Even when my situation didn’t make sense, even in the midst of wailing, God is still God. He already died to save me. Simply because of His love and commitment towards me. He wouldn’t leave me nor forsake me now. I couldn’t let any two-legged human-being take away my worship. Not even my own pain. Jesus suffered far worse than anything I could’ve ever experienced. He was still deserving of my praise even through my pain.
I was in a valley - still kinda here actually - just not staying here. I ponder on this question, if you can’t worship in the valley, why worship on the mountain top? Don’t we serve a God who is the same in the valley and on the mountain? In my opinion the valley worship makes the mountain worship even sweeter. The mountain top is a reminder during valley seasons that you can’t, won’t, stay there forever.
I’m not writing this to tell you how you ought you worship. Rather, I write this to remind you to either start worshipping or continue worshipping. What promises are you holding onto? I can’t tell you what to hope in. But I can remind you who to place your hope in. Never mistake man’s lack for God’s unfaithfulness.
Keep conquering this season, one moment at a time.
In my previous blog Spa day hack I shared that I had a self-care experience in a steam room. This was my first experience in a steam room. The reason I started this blog focusing on breathing is because focusing on my breathing in that heated steam room helped me to survive. It served as a reminder that when life gets to hard to breath, calm yourself. Focus and pace yourself through what’s important. In that steam room, breathing for the next 10-15 minutes was the goal. Yet in this season, your steam room could be hours, days, months to a year. Time is only a concept we have no control over. You don’t know when you will have your full moment of relief. So, like I did in that steam room, go into survival mode. Control what you can (e.g. your breath). In through the nose and out through the mouth. Dedicate each controlled breath to God as a gift in worship. He placed the very breath in your body, give it back to Him. Then, hydrate yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. And let Him lead you to your next step. You don’t have to have everything figured out at once. Let the steam work for you not against you. Become wiser, smarter. Pace yourself through your steam room. Patience is a virtue. Take breaks. Ask for help. Lean on others who are really for you. And when you get through this moment, reflect on how His grace kept you, guided you and covered you. That is worth worshipping Him. Consistently.
Be well. ♡
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