Introducing surrogacy to my daughter
I believe in telling my daughter the truth about life events that may directly or indirectly affect her. This allows us to talk through changes which aids in helping her to better process what’s going on. Sharing my decision to be a surrogate for my brother and sister-in-love was no different. If you have children, you know their intuition is on point especially when it comes to their mothers. The three of us, myself and my intended parents, intentionally introduced the concept with great care to minimize any confusion. Below are three major steps that’s helped emerge her into this journey.
Read children’s books together about surrogacy. We have two books we read at bedtime about surrogacy; first, The Kangaroo Pouch and second, The Very Kind Koala. Both have been extremely helpful with introducing the concept of surrogacy. The Kangaroo Pouch gives the perspective from a surrogates child while The Very Kind Koala’s perspective is from the sweet baby the surrogate is carrying for the future intended parents. Reading through these books allows us to talk about family dynamics as it relates to the coming baby. Sometimes, she’ll read the book back to me explaining things in her own way.
Allow children to attend doctors appointments. Along with my intended parents, whenever we can, we take my daughter to doctors appointments with us. This provides a visual for her to better comprehend what we’ve been discussing. The little baby growing in mommy’s belly is really in there. We are able to further talk about what we are seeing. She has seen the baby’s hand, legs, feet, and head. She’s even been able to listen to the baby’s heartbeat. She’s typically in awe and rather speechless at these appointments. At the end of the first doctors visit she attended she received an ultrasound photo that we placed in her surrogate book. Now, we always have a reference point of the baby we are now reading about.
Have consistent conversations. Introducing this concept has been centered around explaining how my daughter’s Uncle and Aunt has a baby that’s on the way. And that the baby is currently growing in her mommy’s belly. She’s fully grasped this idea to the point where she can articulate this information back to us. Even though she knows this, she does enjoy picking on my sister by debating with her about whose baby it really is. Jokingly, she will state the baby is hers. The great thing about our surrogate journey is that the baby will be hers, her little cousin! She talks to the baby, references the baby, plays with the baby and has even created a nickname for the baby.
The excitement my daughter has for her coming little cousin is so sweet to watch. I welcome you to continue to follow along as we learn and grow together.
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