Part one: The beginning
Mommy: Lex, it’s time to schedule our hair appointments. What would you like done?
Me: Relaxer!
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As a little girl I’ve always had thick long hair that my mother and father nurtured. I know it was time consuming however my parents invested hours to ensure I was always presentable. My mother was so patient with me yet I would give her such a hard time, squirming and crying. She was too heavy handed, the brush was too hard or the blow dryer was too hot. Silly right? I was grateful for my dad during these times. Even though he was the one who was actually heavy handed, he’d step in to do my hair in a way that always seemed gentle.
Side note: my daddy would plait or twist and style my hair. As a daddy’s girl you know I was proud to walk around saying “my daddy did my hair!”
Shoutout to all the dads out there doing their daughter’s hair.
After a certain age we started using a home relaxer -Just For Me- to make my hair manageable. I went from in home relaxers to going to a salon requesting one. Whenever I left the hair dresser without getting a relaxer I would feel so disappointed in how my hair turned out. It always looked poofy. Let’s be clear, poofy hair is not the same as your hair having body or volume. If you just straightened your hair then stepped outside on a humid day that’s poofy hair. I had gotten so many relaxers faithfully every 4-6 weeks -some of which were too strong for my hair- it left my with damaged hair. I freaked out once when I realized how damaged my hair was. I was a teenager at the time preparing to style my hair. As I started parting it I find a section of hair which had broken off leaving about 2-3 inches of hair. I showed my mother and she made an immediate change. I don’t know how she found our new hair dresser but in 2008 we started going to a hairstylist named Ashley, she changed our lives. I remember asking Ashley for a relaxer and she would simply tell my mom “she doesn’t need one”. Not only was she right, she just knew what she was doing. Every time I left her chair my hair felt nourished, healthy and full of body. Ladies, ya’ll know the feeling when you get out of the chair and your hair is shiny and bouncy. It was like that every time! My hair looked like I had a relaxer but didn’t. From here on my hair started growing and it was the healthiest I had seen it in such a long time. I never experienced the big chop. I didn’t need to because Ashley would slowly trim my ends until all my damaged hair was gone.
This began my natural hair journey. It was a journey I didn’t know I was signing up for however I later became grateful for. January 2021 made 13 years that I have been natural!
Although I’ve been natural for over a decade I did experience damaged hair once again. Once I moved away for college I had to figure something out. Hair salon’s were charging a ridiculous amount for thick long hair, especially to a college student. They would quote me one price over the phone but the moment they started working on my hair the price jumped up. I always said I would rather pay someone to do my hair verses doing it myself because I had so much hair but that quickly changed. It was time I learned how to really do my own hair.
If you’re thinking about going natural or you just began your process or maybe you’ve been natural for awhile but looking for some ideas, stay tune for part two; the process. I’ll share my tips, tricks and products.
